Sifl and Olly - Crescent Fresh

Sifl and Olly was the funniest, low-budget sock puppet show ever to appear on MTV. Without a doubt, they were crescent fresh!

Halloweeeeeeeeeeen

When it comes to Halloween 2009, these pictures really do tell a story. First of all, Ivy is adorable and more than ready for trick-or-treating festivites in her snow princess costume. Zander (aka Pablo from The Backyardigans) wanted absolutely nothing to do with the party at the Castle Rock Rec Center. He heard the loud music booming from the gym and was tugging at us to go play on the elevator instead. That's OK, I have a feeling he'll be ready to go next year. Halloween night was nice - the weather was very mild and most everyone had shoveled the snow from the sidewalks. We hit the streets just after 6pm and Ivy cleaned up with a boatload of candy. Just like last year, some neighbors from up the street handed out candy to the kids and mini shooter bottles to the adults. At the last minute, I threw my Cubs jersey and hat on as a pseudo-costume. A good time was had by all! Now it's time for me to gobble up some Kit Kats!

Let It Snow... And Keep On Snowing

It started snowing Tuesday night and didn't stop until early Friday morning. We got upwards of 18 inches in Castle Rock when all was said and done. It's nothing new for us Colorado folks, but it is pretty early in the year for us to see such a big storm. We finally got out of the house this morning and we're looking forward to some Halloween fun with the kiddos. Bring on the candy!!

Random Thoughts on Video Tape #33

A while back, I shared my random thoughts on my Video Tape #5. This time I threw tape #33 into the VCR. (For those of you born after 1980, a VCR is a primitive recording device that uses either Beta or VHS, ahhh never mind!) Thanks to You Tube, I've included links to most of these videos and clips so feel free to play along at home and enjoy...

RODNEY DANGERFIELD YOUNG COMEDIANS SPECIAL
Wow, there’s Jerry Seinfeld before he was SEINFELD. Robert Townsend became fairly successful, too. But Sam Kinison was a maniac. And I mean that in the most flattering way possible. The guy was just on another level. A major comedic talent gone too soon. I love his cameo with Rodney in "Back To School."

YNGWIE MALMSTEEN – YOU DON’T REMEMBER, I’LL NEVER FORGET
The first of a few “World Premiere Videos” I have on this tape. Who the hell is singing in his band this time? It’s not Jeff Scott Soto. Some guy named Mark Boals. Yngwie goes through singers like I go through socks. The chick at the end of the video looks like the same chick in Ozzy’s “Shot In The Dark” video.

MTV NEWS
Check it out, Alan Hunter has a beard!

QUEENSRYCHE – GONNA GET CLOSE TO YOU
This was Queensryche’s weird phase and this video is definitely NOT your standard heavy metal fare. Hair metal bands like Dokken and Poison were bright and colorful. This video is dark and the song is about stalking. I bought the Rage For Order cassette the day it came out thanks to MTV tipping me off. It took me weeks to really wrap my head around what they were doing. After that, it became my favorite QR album ever. The chick in this video kinda looks like the chick in Yngwie’s video – who looks like the chick in Ozzy’s video. Recycled rock video vixen.

VAN HALEN – DREAMS (BLUE ANGELS VERSION)
What a cool concept for a video – nothing but 4:54 of kick ass Blue Angels footage.

GTR – THE HUNTER
You may remember GTR’s first minor hit “When The Heart Rules The Mind,” but this was a pretty cool song, too. Steve Howe from Asia is on guitar. You just don’t hear tenors in rock bands anymore. Everyone just growls and sings about two octaves lower. I saw this CD at Media Play once – I should track it down.

ROUGH CUTT – DOUBLE TROUBLE
This video actually suckered me into going to Sound Warehouse and buying the tape. What a horrible mistake that was. Rough Cutt sucked! The only other time that happened was with a band called Icon. I saw the album cover and thought it looked cool, so I bought the tape. It sucked so bad I returned it the next day saying it was “defective.” The only two reasons Rough Cutt are worth mentioning are because their singer Paul Shortino sang on “Stars” by Hear N' Aid, the heavy metal charity single for African famine relief. Then Paul quit Rough Cutt to become the singer in Quiet Riot after they fired Kevin DuBrow. Why do I know this stuff?

IT’S GARRY SHANDLING’S SHOW
Check out the cheesy Showtime graphics! I like Garry Shandling’s stand up, but I don’t remember watching this show very often at all so I don’t know why I taped this. But it’s a funny show. The wardrobe and hair is screaming 80’s. I just saw Garry on The Joy Bahar Show promoting the DVD release of this show. So pick it up for the Garry Shandling fan in your life.

JOURNEY – GIRL CAN’T HELP IT
Another “World Premiere Video” – this was Journey’s first video from the Raised On Radio album. Steve Perry, baby! This is after Steve fired the old rhythm section and hired a short, fat drummer wearing a pink hat and pre-American Idol judge Randy Jackson on bass. He’s a bad ass. Trivia – Randy Jackson plays bass on Stryper’s cover of “Shining Star.”

BOSTON – AMANDA
No, Boston never released a music video for “Amanda.” This was me taping something off the classified ads channel on United Cablevision. This is hilarious! You should see the lame ads: “Square Dance Lessons.” “Adorable Kittens – free to a good home.” “’86 Chevy Pickup, $15,000 or best offer.” I taped this because it was before Boston’s Third Stage album had come out and I wanted to be able to hear the song whenever I wanted. Kinda like taping songs off the radio, but more pathetic.

CINDERELLA – NIGHT SONGS COMMERCIAL
This was right when Cinderella was hitting with “Shake Me.” The end of the commercial says “Available on Mercury records, cassettes and compact discs.” Holy crap! Records died in the late 80’s, cassettes died in the 90’s and compact discs are just about dead now. You know what Cinderella says about change…

POISON INTERVIEW – MTV STUDIOS
Here’s Bret Michaels and Rikki Rockett in full on Look What The Cat Dragged In glory. Martha Quinn seems thrilled to be talking to the girls, er, guys. “What’s your philosophy?” she asks. Bret replies, “If you can’t do it right, do it anyway!” How would you describe your style?” she asks. Bret replies, “We’re somewhere in between Motorhead and Duran Duran – we just can’t figure it out.” This is classic shit.

COAST SOAP COMMERCIAL
This is the worst commercial I’ve ever seen! The over-the-top jingle is very 80’s and is making me ill. “Coast picks you up and makes you feel alive.” Really? A bar of soap can do that?

DAVID LEE ROTH – MTV SPECIAL
This is Dave introducing the Eat ‘Em And Smile album, band and tour to the world. There’s Steve Vai and Billy Sheehan tearing shit up in the “Yankee Rose” video. And Diamond Dave is basically interviewing himself for the full half hour, with hilarious results. This takes me back to the Van Halen breakup, Sammy joining Van Halen and releasing 5150 and DLR doing his solo thing. Who could have guessed that it would have taken another 20 years to get DLR back in Van Halen?

MTV NEWS
Check it out, Alan Hunter shaved his beard! Here’s Queensryche talking about the Rage For Order tour. OMG, look at Geoff Tate’s hair stuck up 10 inches in the air. Now Alan is telling me that Yngwie Malmsteen has fired Mark Boals and Jeff Scott Soto is back in the band. I seriously can’t keep up with Yngwie’s lead singer hirings and firings. And now some concert information for David Lee Roth with Cinderella opening up. That’s a good package – I wonder if it ever made it to Denver? I saw Bon Jovi and Cinderella the next year.

VAN HALEN – SO THIS IS LOVE?
Speaking of Van Halen, here’s some vintage Fair Warning live footage. I read an interview a few years back with DLR and he was talking about the huge amount of stuff Van Halen has in the vault. These guys are in need of a box set big time with tons of old concert footage like this for a DVD. They were untouchable back then.

VAN HALEN – THERE’S ONLY ONE WAY TO ROCK
Another live performance – this one with Sammy Hagar on the 5150 Tour. Holy crap, Eddie is still on fire and you can see how much fun the band was having on stage. I loved both eras of Van Halen, but they were two different bands. This show from New Haven (aka “New Halen”) is the same as the "Live Without A Net" concert film. It came out on DVD a while back – awesome.

‘TIL TUESDAY – WHAT ABOUT LOVE
I frigin’ LOVE this song. People think 'Til Tuesday were a one hit wonder with “Voices Carry,” but they had this track and “Coming Up Close.” The guitar solo in this song has the absolute perfect tone. Flawless. The video is four minutes of Aimee Mann making out with her boyfriend.

DWEEZIL ZAPPA – MTV VEEJAY
Whenever Mark Goodman called in sick, MTV called Dweezil Zappa to fill in for the afternoon. They should have hired him full time, because I thought he was hilarious. After ‘Til Tuesday’s “What About Love” video, Dweeze went into a long rant about how he thought their first album was over-produced but he loves the second album. Then he went off: “I think they are a candidate to be the first band to sell one billion records. I think Ratt can do it. I think Iggy Pop can do it. And I think ‘Til Tuesday can do it. Everyone just needs to buy 1,000 records each. (Producer off stage gives him the correct math.) OK, MTV has 25 million subscribers, so all we need is for everyone to buy 40 copies of the new ‘Til Tuesday album and they will sell one billion records.” Now he’s interviewing a half naked Wendy O. Williams! Now he’s talking to Julian Lennon! Now Moon Unit is on the set. I love Dweezil…

I LOVE ELWAY - MUSIC VIDEO
Denver folks will no doubt remember this piece of local sports history. Dr. Joe Jones, a Littleton vet, changed the words to “I Love L.A.” as a tribute to John Elway and the Broncos. Gary Cruz (remember him!) and Channel 7 shot the music video all around Denver. There’s the Barrel Man “rolling down Valley Highway.” There’s two DJ’s from KPKE! The cameos keep coming – Mayor Pena, Governor Lamb, Janet Elway. The rest of the video features John Elway highlights and fans tailgating. There’s a Broncos fan wearing a long sleeve “Coca-Cola” shirt – I used to have one of those! Good Lord, this footage is incredible!

I Like Sportz

I like sportz and I don’t care who knows! If you haven’t seen the hilarious “We Like Sportz” video, CLICK HERE…

Just like concert tickets, I’ve kept all my sporting ticket stubs going all the way back to the early 80’s. The first Chicago Cubs game I saw at Wrigley Field was with my family in August 1977. I remember a foul ball shooting up to the upper deck and hitting about six inches from my mom on the aisle, but I don’t remember much about the game. My Dad wrote “Cubs won 4-3” on the back of the pictures they took. I’ve written the final score to most of the games I’ve seen on the back of the tickets, but a lot of them were blank so I jumped on Google to find the box scores to each of those games. When I Googled the 1977 Cubs season, the Cubs actually won that August game 4-2, not 4-3. I thought it would be interesting to see the W-L record of the Cubs, Rockies, Broncos, etc… in the games I’ve attended. So after some research, here’s the totals:

CHICAGO CUBS: 23-20
COLORADO ROCKIES: 43-42
DENVER BRONCOS: 19-5
DENVER NUGGETS: 10-8
COLORADO AVALANCHE: 1-1-1

What does this riveting information tell us? Each team is barely playing over .500 ball when I’m in the stadium with the exception of the Broncos who are absolutely on fire at 19-5. You’re almost guaranteed a Broncos victory if I go to the game!

Eventually we want to make it to every MLB ballpark to see a game. Here’s a list of the few MLB parks I’ve been to – we’re hoping to significantly add to this list in the near future. Maybe St. Louis or Seattle to see the Cubs in 2010 if I get a job!

Wrigley Field, Chicago
Candlestick Park, San Francisco
The Astrodome, Houston
Mile High Stadium, Denver
Coors Field, Denver
Qualcomm Stadium, San Diego
Dodger Stadium, Los Angeles
Angels Stadium, Anaheim

I GO OFF... on Balloon Boy's Dad

I've been obsessing about the “Balloon Boy” story. Partially because it’s a local story and partially because it’s was all a little too sensational to just accept as fact. Now that it’s official the entire ordeal was a hoax, I’m gonna go off on the attention hoar of a dad, Richard Heene. I can’t decide if I should call him A-Hoar (kinda like A-Hole) or Dick Weenie, but either way this guy is a clown.

As if being on Wife Swap wasn’t enough, A-Hoar wanted his own reality show and was willing to put the entire state of Colorado at Defcon 1 in order to achieve this lofty goal. I’m sure he thought everyone would forget the mayhem he’d caused once innocent little Falcon was found to be alive and unharmed. But that’s when my main man Wolf Blitzer from CNN stepped up and asked Falcon “did you hear your parents yelling for you?” As soon as he said “we did this for the show,” A-Hoar and The Heene’s were in some deep shit. The next morning, Falcon was throwing up on The Today Show because he was so nervous and A-Hoar was getting oh-so-pissed that things weren’t going according to plan.

Then Wolf Blitzer interviewed the family again live on CNN. That’s when A-Hoar put in his worst performance. Wolf specifically asked him again what Falcon meant when he said “we did this for the show.” All of a sudden he’s quiet as a mouse, then confused, then outraged because he’s run out of lies. You can literally see Richard trying to think of an answer, but decided instead to fake being “appalled” that the question was even being asked. And that’s when Wolf Blitzer got as SOFT as a wet pretzel and fell over himself saying how they were a beautiful family and he was thrilled for them and it was a “thrilling moment” for him as a news anchor to be able to announce to the world that Falcon was safe and unharmed. What a pussy! He didn’t have the balls to call him out for avoiding the question and, in turn, raising more questions.

A-Hoar came out of his house the next morning and promised a “press conference” at 10:00am that would include a “big announcement.” When the time came, he had no announcement but instead asked the assembled media to write down their questions on a piece of paper and stick them in a box. Huge red flag there! If you have nothing to hide, why are you screening questions? Who do you think you are, George W. Bush?

At the end of the day, A-Hoar made himself an easy target. He put himself out there as a storm-chasing would-be scientist, but he only has a high school education. The best I can tell, he doesn’t even have a job! The police have also been to his house at least twice in the last year – once for suspicion of domestic spousal abuse. Nice. He’s an attention hoar and a wife beater. Does he know how many local, state and federal resources were allocated to help find his missing son? Most of all, what kind of message does it send to his kids when he’s willing to manipulate them just to get on TV?

There’s got to be a new reality show out there for Richard, one where he can repay his debt to society and simultaneously provide valuable entertainment to us, the home viewers. Maybe a prison reality show where a camera follows Richard around 24/7. Maybe a “Balloon Dad” show where Coloradans can pummel Richard with water balloons filled with lemon juice for hours on end. Or maybe we just attach Richard to his own balloon and let him float away – never to be seen again. All kidding aside, it’s a shame that his kids have to have such a fuck up for a Dad because this is REAL LIFE we’re talking about. Something poor Richard Heene knows nothing about.

Merry Christmas??

The family went to 24-Hour Fitness last night so Mommy could teach her spinning class and Daddy could work out. The following conversation took place on Ridge Road, just before we got home:

Christine: OH. MY. GOD.

Me: What?

Christine: That house already has a Christmas tree up!

Me: Are you serious?

Christine: It’s October 15!

Me: They should be shot.

Christine: That’s pretty extreme, don’t you think?

Me: What punishment do you recommend?

Christine: They should pay a fine – to me. I was offended. Give me $50 Dollars.

Ivy: I want to see the Christmas lights! Can we put up our Christmas tree tonight?

Me: Probably not tonight, honey. It’s a little early.

Ivy: (Beginning to cry) But I want to put up our Christmas tree tonight – WHHHHAAAAAAAAA!

Funny Faces

Ivy and Zander have been having a lot of fun recently, so here's a quick update. Ivy has been doing her own ballet dance recitals in the living room and Zander and I have been tossing the football around quite a bit lately. There was a free day at the Denver Zoo last week, so we enjoyed checking out ALL the animals. Ivy loves penguins and Z loves leopards, just like his old man. We also went to Monkey Bizness for cousin Maesen's birthday party and the kids decided to pose for these silly photos.

Our Saturn is full of problems again. We've known about the leak in the radiator for a while, but we’ve been finding ways to get around it. We WANT to get it fixed, but have no way of paying for it at the present time. We're gonna have to come up with a solution, because it's not safe to drive right now. Thanks again to Laura who has been very patient while we borrow her car.

I have two more good job leads, but things are moving ahead at a snail’s pace. I’ll be scheduling an interview with Comcast Cable next week and hope to get a phone call from Denver Center for the Performing Arts soon. I have a few people putting in good words for me, so hopefully those words will carry some weight.

Be sure to DVR Anvil: The Story of Anvil on VH1 or VH1 Classic, a great documentary film about the Canadian metal band Anvil that never made it big in the 80’s but kept playing through the years even to a small, but loyal audience. Even as a metal fan, I was barely familiar with the name Anvil growing up. They certainly never had any “hits” and never sniffed the commercial success of Anthrax or Megadeth. With the success of the movie, and the big push from VH1, you can now check out “The Anvil Experience,” a tour that will feature a screening of the movie immediately followed by a live set from the band. They are coming to The Gothic Theatre in January so I may just check that out. Only two more shows on the radar for me this year – Justin and I are going to The Cranberries at The Gothic and I'd like to see Stryper at Cervantes in mid-November if I can scrounge up the extra cash by then. Hey Kellie - did you pick up your Def Leppard tickets?

Finally, here's a silly ten second video of Zander and Mommy sliding down the jumbo slide at Monkey Bizness...

Gene Simmons Gives Letterman a "KISS"

There's been so much talk about the David Letterman sex scandal this last week, but why do people care who celebrities are sleeping with? Speaking of sleep, we haven't watched Dave in years because we've been in bed by 9PM every night for the last five years! Kids just make you want to SLEEP! Even though Dave hasn't dropped anything off a five-story building in a few decades, he'll always be funnier than Jay Leno. (Sorry, Laura but Jay is Lame-o.) My sister-in-law had to tell me KISS was on Letterman last week performing their kick ass new single, "Modern Day Delilah." Thank God for You Tube. So watch this clip and check out the biggest rock band production I've ever seen on a late night talk show. And then Gene says hello to Dave after the song...

Introducing Folio

Since I’m still not working, I’m spending a little more time than usual blogging and Facebook-ing. (Is that like Scrapbooking?) It’s a good way to keep in touch with friends - and stay on the radar of former co-workers and other useful connections. Sometimes I’ll try to find old classmates. Such is the case with Chris Willshire, a guy I went to Marshall High School with in San Antonio. I was looking through a box of old photos and came across a photo of Chris and I playing bass and guitar respectively at our local church. I wasn’t much of a guitar player at that point – and I don’t remember ever being on that stage again. But I do remember Chris being a huge Rush fan. (And Carrie remembers having a bit of a crush on young Mr. Willshire.)

So I went to Facebook and typed in his name – several Chris Willshire’s came up, but my eyes flew to a profile photo of a rocker dude playing bass guitar. I couldn’t see his face too clearly, but it actually kinda looked like him. His profile said he went to college in Texas, so I started to think this could definitely be him. I sent him a message and he replied…

Hey Ken! Yep, I went to Marshall--nice to hear from you. As soon as I saw your name in my Inbox, it was very familiar but I couldn't quite remember from where in San Antonio. I remember those talent shows at St. Brigid's--lots of fun. Do you remember the one where a friend of mine rigged a mini-explosion on top of the bass amp for the last note? HA, I think the adults were mortified!!

Turns out Chris moved to Los Angeles and stuck with the bass. He’s currently playing in a “next wave band” called Folio. (He's on the far right in the above photo.) He described his music as “Duran Duran meets The Killers,” but to me a few of the songs sound like they could have easily been recorded 25 years ago. That’s not necessarily a bad thing. I mean, nobody is really doing that in music today. Most rock bands just want to be louder and heavier. And there are not a lot of successful pop bands out there right now. It’s mostly solo artists, American Idol garbage and hip hop. So maybe there’s some room out there for good bands to start a new pop movement…

And these guys are very good! Visit Folio’s MY SPACE PAGE and please let me (and Chris) know what you think of the tracks from their debut EP, Great Divide. You’ll hear some big time 80’s influences – along with confident performances and infectious pop songwriting. The first track “My Elation” sounds more like vintage Depeche Mode than anything the real DM have released in 15 years. (I played it for Christine and she immediately said “Is this DM?”) The next song reminded me of Talk Talk – the one after that Duran Duran. Fans of 80's pop and new wave will dig it for sure…

Who knows what will happen to Folio? Maybe they will catch a big break and become huge. That would be very cool to see, because these are talented musicians writing their own music. The guys are already working on tunes for their new album so best of luck to Folio – especially to our old friend Chris.

Attention To Detail

I’ve had two job interviews scheduled over the last week and both ended up being for sales gigs. Why do people put jobs up on Craig’s List that say “Marketing/Advertising Manager” and they end up being SALES jobs?? I’m firmly convinced that people don’t even know what marketing is. Selling is selling. And that’s not for me. I don’t need to beg somebody to buy something, especially when 98% of the time they don't want to buy it anyway.

The first interview last week was fine, but the job wasn’t right for me. The second interview was supposed to be this morning. I talked to this guy Dan on the phone last Thursday and we agreed to meet at Panera Bread (mmmmmmmm, Panera!) Monday morning at 9am. I got there at 8:50am and took a seat. 9am – nothing. 9:10am – nothing. 9:15am – nothing. By that time I was pissed! I got out of bed early and got all dressed up on my birthday for THIS? By 9:18am, I’d had enough. LATER! If you were interviewing someone and they were 20 minutes late, would you hire him? That’s what I thought…

It turns out he called our house at 9:30am wondering where I was. He told Christine he was under the impression we were meeting in his office in the same building as Panera. That’s NOT what he told me – and that pissed me off even further. I absolutley can’t stand people with no attention to detail. Especially when he’s the one that suggested where to meet. Thankfully, Christine knows me well enough and told Dan we were supposed to meet at Panera.

I don’t have a cell phone, but I suppose one would have come in handy in this situation. (And have you ever noticed that pay phones barely exist anymore?) Here’s my take – if he wasn’t sure where he asked me to meet, he could have walked downstairs to Panera in two seconds to see if I was waiting there. And if we had agreed to meet at his office, wouldn't I have had a suite number written down??

When I got home, he had also sent me an email. I just wasn’t interested in a sales gig, so I thanked him for his consideration and told him I was no longer interested. When I hit send on the email, it immediately bounced back as undeliverable. Turns out he has a typo in his return email address (there was no “g” in “marketing.) Remember what I said about attention to detail?

That reminds me of a phone interview I had a few weeks ago. This guy was starting his own website offering cash back when you shop on the internet. He was the brains behind the concept, but he needed someone to market the site. He gave me the URL and I immediately noticed two big typos on the front page – so I told him. He was obviously embarrassed, but it just turned me off to the whole thing. Say it with me – ATTENTION TO DETAIL!

So just for fun, can anyone find the two typos I’ve intentionally inserted into this blog post? They aren’t obvious, so good luck…

KISS Gets A Call From The Hall

Just over a year ago, I blogged about KISS –vs- Leonard Cohen, pleading for KISS to be inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame (HOF.) I wasn’t the only KISS fanatic wondering why it was taking so long for them to be inducted, but to me it was always a question of “when” and not ‘if.” Well, the official word just came down today:

After being snubbed for years (the band has been eligible for the honor since 1999), KISS has finally been nominated for the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame along with Abba, Donna Summer, Genesis, the Stooges, the Hollies, LL Cool J and the Red Hot Chili Peppers. Jimmy Cliff, Darlene Love, Laura Nyro and the Chantels are also on the ballot, and votes will be cast by a group of more than 500 musicians and industry professionals. Of the 12 nominees, the five that get the most votes will be announced in January and inducted into the Hall of Fame at its 25th annual ceremony on March 15 at the Waldorf-Astoria in Manhattan.

So KISS is a lock – so is Genesis. Those are no-brainers…

Jimmy Cliff, Darlene Love and Laura Nyro? Sorry, thanks for playing…

That leaves Abba, Donna Summer, The Stooges, The Hollies, LL Cool J and Red Hot Chili Peppers.

Of those remaining artists, which three will get the most votes? Which three “best contributed to the development and perpetuation of Rock and Roll?” Let’s break it down…

ABBA – They are perceived as somewhat of a novelty act, but fans still love them and they sold a shit ton of records. But I’m not sure “Dancing Queen” is enough to get you in the HOF.

DONNA SUMMER – There are no other disco artists in the HOF and that’s important to keep in mind because they are all about diversity and accepting the different genres of music within “rock.” Donna Summer was beyond HUGE in the 70’s and she kept her career going through the 80’s and still tours to this day. It’s an outside shot, but I wouldn’t be surprised if she got in. (A woman had been inducted in each of the last four years including Madonna, Blondie, Patti Smith and The Pretenders.)

THE STOOGES – Iggy is an icon, but personally I just don’t see The Stooges’ music having made that much of an impact except to a small, but loyal audience. I’m not suggesting you HAVE to sell a billion records to be in the HOF, but I can name dozens of “underground” bands that are better than The Stooges. And there’s no way The Stooges can get in before Alice Cooper or Rush. I’m just sayin’…

THE HOLLIES – At least one “oldies” act gets in each year. Always. The old timers that vote will make sure they get in.

LL COOL J – Ladies Love Cool James, so I can see LL squeezing in. He’s charismatic and he makes great records. I have LL’s Greatest Hits on my iPod right now. But more than anything, the HOF is on a big rap and hip hop kick right now. It started with Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five in 2007 and continued with RUN-D.M.C. in 2009. Keep in mind, they are producing a TV show and they want ratings. LL would bring in the 20- and 30-somethings. Plus, it would be killer to see him rip into “Mama Said Knock You Out” one more time. Or maybe “I Need Love.” That would be classic…

RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS – RHCP make for an interesting debate. There’s no doubt they are a great live band and have a bunch of hits to their credit including “Give It Away,” “Under The Bridge,” “Californication” and “Higher Ground.” They have survived countless musical trends and have always found an audience when they release a new album. But will they receive the most votes this year to get in? Maybe they easily get in this year, but maybe they have to wait another year or two?

So my final list looks like this…

KISS
GENESIS
DONNA SUMMER
THE HOLLIES
LL COOL J

I could be wrong, but I’m picking Donna Summer in an upset over the Chili Peppers. If RHCP get in, they will probably bump LL Cool J. The more I think about it maybe RHCP get in. They have the whole “Behind The Music” thing going for them – dead band members, drug overdoses, the whole nine yards. And Flea inducted Metallica last year so maybe they’ve got an advantage there. What do I know? I’m just trying to cover my bases in case RHCP get in! What do you think??

Free Day @ Denver Botanic Gardens

IH8CARS

When it comes to cars, I freely admit I’m an ignorant SOB. I get my oil changed every 3,000 miles and I can refill my windshield washer fluid, but that’s just about where my knowledge ends.

Our Saturn is 12 years old and has 213,000 miles on it, so it’s the equivalent of a senior citizen. We were a one car family up until last year when Christine’s Dad gifted a used Daewoo Lanos to us. The Saturn started having some problems last week and with Dad’s help, we narrowed the problem down to the thermostat. I bought the $15 part and he came down to the house to install it. Problem solved, right? NOPE! The very next day, Christine drove the car to work and called me freaking out.

“The car wouldn’t shift into fourth gear on I-25!”
“The service engine light came on!”
“The car died in the parking lot!”

Oh, shit. We left it for dead in the 24 Hour Fitness parking lot.

Plan B was to quickly teach Christine how to drive a stick so she could use the Daewoo to get back and forth to work. Bad idea. I’m not the best teacher and Christine’s not the best student. She was doing fine, but revved up the engine to the point where it started making noise. Then it died. Then we couldn’t get it started again. Oh, shit. We think it’s the timing belt, but we have no money to get it fixed right now.

Plan C was to call Laura and see if she could help us out. Bingo! If we could get her 2000 Saturn started, we were free to use it until we could get the rest of our headaches figured out. Laura told me the battery was dead, but we went to the Chickenfoot show and then jumped her car after the concert. I drove it all the way home and went to bed. The car wouldn’t start the next morning, but I had to jump it again to pick Christine up when Saturn #1 died in the parking lot. Are you following all of this?

We got home safely, but quickly realized that Laura’s Saturn might need a new battery. We tried to jump it one last time on Monday morning so we could have Walmart put in a new battery, but that wasn’t happening. We were getting the dash lights to show up, but the car wasn’t turning over. We also noticed a “security” light coming on. I started to wonder if Zander had something to do with this. He’s going through a phase now where he takes our keys and sticks them in the ignition while sitting in the driver’s seat. So there’s a better than even chance that he used a foreign pair of keys to play in Saturn #2. Thinking that someone was trying to steal the car, the computer’s security function probably kicked in. Dammit!

We tried everything, but couldn’t get Saturn #2 started. Luckily, Laura has towing insurance on the car so we had it towed to Walmart. They changed out the battery in 30 minutes, but told me the car was turning off automatically when you started it. So I told them about the security feature issue and they tried to figure out a way to bypass it and get the car running. No luck.

I had Christine jump on the internet to see if she could find any bright ideas. Sure enough, she came across a series of steps that were supposed to reset the security function. It goes like this: Turn the car to on. The security light will start flashing. Let the car sit for 10 minutes until the security light goes off. When the light goes off, turn the car off for at least 10 seconds and then start the car. That should work. We tried it once – no luck. We tried it a second time – no luck. We tried it a third time – no luck.

Then I called two local Saturn dealers and asked them for some help. The first dealer just said to “bring it in and we’ll fix it for $55.” The second dealer asked me, “Have you just let it sit for an hour?” I asked him what he meant and he said the car’s computer probably thinks that someone is still trying to steal it. If we just let it sit for an hour, it might reset all on its own. So I sat. For an hour. DIDN’T WORK!

So I caught the Castle Rock Shuttle Bus home (scenic 45 minute tour through town – normally five minutes by car!) While I was doing my thing, Laura was on the phone with Saturn reading them the riot act and demanding they tell us how to get the car started for free. They told her about the same security trick that Christine had found on the internet. But they told her you have to do it FOUR times in a row before it will work.

We got up the next morning and took the Shuttle Bus back to Walmart (this time with a bunch of high school girls talking about their clothes and hair.) I jumped in the car and tried to start it up. Not happening. Then I started the series of four security tricks. Tried it once – nothing. Tried it twice – nothing. Tried it thrice – it worked! IT’S ALIVE! What the hell? We tried it three times yesterday and it didn’t work! Who cares – IT STARTED!

We got Laura’s car started, but we still have two dead cars of our own. Luckily, while communicating our car problems to the Douglas County Task Force, I was informed we are eligible for a one-time $500 emergency benefit. (Basically because our car problem made it impossible for Christine to get to work and put her at risk of losing her job because of it.) We took Saturn #1 in for an estimate and within 48 hours were approved for the benefit money to fix the repairs. WOO-HOO! We should have the car back tonight and that’s a major weight lifted off our shoulders.

When I was a teenager, my dad stressed the importance of getting your oil changed and checking the fluids in my car, but I never learned a damn thing about troubleshooting problems or how to fix them. When he gets older, I’ll highly encourage Zander (and even Ivy) to take an auto mechanics course. It’s just as important as the typing class I took my Junior year. That way I’ll have someone to fix my car when I’m 65!

Winger Unleash Some Karma

Winger took a long break after the 80’s scene died down and Kip released a series of solo albums before Winger reunited for IV in 2006. Now they're back with another new studio album, Karma.

You know how I feel about Reb Beach and Winger – not only are these guys amazing musicians, they are fantastic performers and songwriters. Even if you’re not a big hard rock fan, you have to admire the sheer sonic quality of their work. And judging by this promo teaser video, Karma is going to be a MONSTER album. Waiting patiently until October 27.